[ way to make him feel like an asshole (which is absolutely fair). ]
you want the truth? ok here's the truth: when you told me that you trusted me, i panicked i wasn't trying to be fake or lie to you it's my panic response ok? it's always been my panic response and usually people don't notice it because in another world that's who i am to everyone
i never intended to get close to anyone after i'd showed up in new amsterdam. none of this is permanent. attachment will only distract me. so i'd kept to myself and i'd avoided getting to know anyone more than necessary.
that didn't happen with you probably because i didn't think we would ever get close but then we started hanging out more i started to get to know you like REALLY know you and the more i learned about you, the more i found myself caring about you which was fine up until the moment you told me that you trusted me and i realized that it was the same for me
so i panicked i told myself that i needed to put some distance between us because what good would it do for us to get closer when i'm already working on a way to get us all home? it was a total jackass move, i'll admit it and i'm sorry i wasn't trying to hurt you
no subject
you want the truth?
ok here's the truth: when you told me that you trusted me, i panicked
i wasn't trying to be fake or lie to you
it's my panic response ok?
it's always been my panic response
and usually people don't notice it because in another world that's who i am to everyone
i never intended to get close to anyone after i'd showed up in new amsterdam. none of this is permanent. attachment will only distract me. so i'd kept to myself and i'd avoided getting to know anyone more than necessary.
that didn't happen with you
probably because i didn't think we would ever get close
but then we started hanging out more
i started to get to know you
like REALLY know you
and the more i learned about you, the more i found myself caring about you
which was fine
up until the moment you told me that you trusted me and i realized that it was the same for me
so i panicked
i told myself that i needed to put some distance between us
because what good would it do for us to get closer when i'm already working on a way to get us all home?
it was a total jackass move, i'll admit it
and i'm sorry
i wasn't trying to hurt you