ikols: our lovers (we should leave)
— ᴄᴏᴠᴇᴛᴏᴜs ᴍᴀɢᴘɪᴇ. ([personal profile] ikols) wrote in [personal profile] voicelog 2022-04-08 09:55 pm (UTC)

LOKIOFASGARD; text

thank odin's beard you are the only one who will not talk to me, i cannot talk to anyone anymore except this phone which is set to diction because fUCK TYPING
you won't reply so this is fffine, allow me to ramble and then delete this from your computerised mindscape

i am so well known across so many universes, saying nothing else i can offer my name and everyone has some idea of who i am
i am Loki
i am seen and spoken of and told so many things about myself
sometimes they become absorbed into my past, the stories become true and i remember them like they happened, because then they did
gods have no history, only stories
STORIES STORIES STORIES

i am tired of being told which story to be
it happened once, in a story-that-was-but-is-no-more
i met my future self and he had razed midgard to the ground where he sat on a throne of bones as tall as a mountain, he did it because everyone called him nothing but Liar
Liar, Trickster, no good could ever come from him for long, they said, and they laughed
so he stabbed Thor as he fell in line with it all

he set me on fire
i think i ought to like fire, i have a rune named for me and i am said to be a spirit of fire, sometimes
in some tales
they do not say i am ice

he set me on fire

i tore off his face and he was my twin beneath, he sobbed in my arms with the guilt of it, then i put him in a gemstone to give him peace and i knew to always beware of how stories could affect me
i became the god of stories, to protect myself
stories are just lies, after all

the boy has been telling people for a while now that i murdered him, that i was a questionable character who stole his skin and paraded around
and i did
but i also didn't
i was
i think i was turning bad for a while, before he acquired the demon and i settled the issue with him

you ought to know, i would want to be stopped if i ever became like the old man again
you have my permission, and my blessing
but do not cut off my head for that will not kill me
i hate being beheaded

i think he hated the avengers so, so much because it was another family to which thor belonged which he could never touch
i too yearn to be one
perhaps i only inherited that from him, too
i do not know who i am if i am not Loki

sometimes i wonder what my name would have been

ALTHOUGH i AM totally drunk and YOU are the second coolest avenger
i hope i die from alcohol poisoning and never awaken to know you have read thisssssldkjfl

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