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jeez i don't even know how to put this

uh

you remember otto octavius? famously called himself doc ock

yeah i know octavius

[ he is also aware that a doc ock is here because ofc he does. ]

did you encounter the one here?

[ ofc he does.

Well, that makes this easier then. Maybe. Sort of. Maybe not really. ]

yeah

yeah i did

and i don't know i kinda freaked out at him

freaked out?

why?

i know it wasn't my finest moment but

man

you really have no idea do you?

no idea of what?

hold on

[ There's a moment's pause, and then Tony will see a notification pop up to answer his phone function. When he picks up, Peter will let out an audible sigh, and: ]

Okay, sorry. Couldn't text it out without wanting to — I don't know, freak out again. Maybe send an emoji or like, five. Or back out and tell you, 'Forget it'.

Because the thing is I can't. Forget it. [ A breath. ] A little while back, Doc Ock from our world took over my body. Yeah, like a scene from a bad soap opera, one of my worst enemies took over my body, swapped me into his old broken one, and tried to end me then and there. It didn't stick, but I was there the entire time that he — used me like a freakin' puppet.

Jeez, Peter...

[ it's a lot to take in, but he recently experienced something akin to a loss of mental (if not physical) autonomy himself. the aeries filled him with lies of another life and drove him to make decisions that he otherwise would have never made. he is still dealing with the consequences from his time there. ]

I'm sorry that happened to you. How was it resolved?

[ There’s a pause and then an exhale, like Peter has to physically dredge the memories back up, he’d been burying them down so deep. The trauma is still there in literally everything he does, everything he sees, every time he wakes up in the morning and finds himself in his own body, but the brunt of it … the fight of it … ]

There was still a tiny sliver of me trapped in my own body even though Ock tried to force the entirety of me out. So I fought him the only way I could, even without control of my own limbs. I’d get into his head, I’d question him, I’d make him try and understand that he couldn’t just be me.

And when he had to fight Gobby, he couldn’t do it — said he needed my help to do it, can you believe it? Tried to kill me off, and he needed my help.

[ There’s an edge of anger so soft in his voice, is it any wonder he freaked out at any Otto Octavius at all? ]

And I know this guy isn’t the same, I know alternate universes exist, but — Christ, Tony, it was like reliving all of that all over again in seconds.

[ he listens to pete quietly, giving him the time to parse his thoughts together and say what he wants to say. the deeper he gets into his account of what happened between him and doc ock though, the more unsettled and sickened he feels in the pit of his stomach.

he can't begin to imagine what it would feel like to be the backseat driver of your own mind while someone else controls your body and actions.

the intrusiveness and helplessness of it all sends a sharp chill down his spine. ]

No. No, you have every right to not want to associate with any version of Octavius after what you went through. And you don't have to. [ he just wants to make that point clear. ] Are you going to be okay or is there anything you need me to do for you?

Yeah.

[ Peter has no intention whatsoever in tangoing with the Doc for the next forever if he can help it — so no worries there.

(Unless he goes rogue and tries to take over the city, and then he'll have no choice. Great power, great responsibility, and all that.) ]

You offering a cuddle and a warm mug of cocoa? [ The joke is there, but the quippiness is largely softened by the solemnity in his voice, the gravity of the situation still just a little too heavy to pass off as light. ] No, I'm — I'll be okay. I think I just needed to tell someone so I didn't feel like I was going crazy. Sorry you were the lucky winner.

[ But, despite everything ... he isn't really sure there's anyone else here he'd rather tell something like this to. ]

Maybe not the cuddle, but we can go out for that warm mug of cocoa. It'll be my treat.

[ he can understand the need to confide in someone. it would take a considerable weight off of his own shoulders if he had that option. unfortunately, the only person who he could confide in isn't here — nor in the best state to have that talk even if he was.

so he's glad that he can at least fill in that role for pete, even if he wouldn't typically be his first pick. ]

And you don't have to apologize. I know we don't always have the... easiest relationship with each other, but I'm here to listen.

And here I was looking forward to the cuddle. [ Tony, you tease. ] But I'll take the cocoa.

[ He takes a breath then, a little like he has to recover from an emotional gut-punch thrown his way with those words. No, they haven't always had the easiest relationship, sometimes it was downright crappy. But of everyone he's ever known, superhero or not, Tony Stark had a knack for really getting him. Not even just the good and quippy, those really nerdy science jokes they could sling back and forth and never miss a beat, but the other stuff too. The ... darker stuff.

Sometimes he hated that. Actually, a lot of the times he hated it. ]

Thanks, T.

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