voicelog | metaheroes

Do you have time?

yeah

what's up?

Better to talk in person. I can come to you.

ok

[ guess strange must want to discuss what's been happening. he probably should have contacted him first. ]

i'm here [ pin dropped to his new workshop. ]

[ Deep breaths, Stephen.

Twenty or so seconds later the hiss and spin of a portal as it opens and he steps through (and god if it doesn't feel as strange as it does familiar, the old thrill of magic made new by its recovery).

And, because he'd rather not waste time dancing around, and because he can't off the top of his head think what he'd say to make this clear any other way... ]

So am I.

[ Only it's not a text, at least not one that'll show up on Tony's phone. He doesn't need any screen to see that message coming in from one @ stephen.strange as Stephen stands, sheepish, behind him across the lab. ]

[ confusion finds him first, a crease of his brows as the alert appears on his screen. the possibility was always there, given recent events; but what he couldn't understand was how the stephen he knew could have contacted him through the account of the one he didn't. something was... wrong about it.

he could come up with a dozen different explanations for it, but it may just be easier to ask the man himself.

the moment stephen had appeared in his workshop, he was already aware of his presence. it still takes him a moment too long to turn around and face him, his expression... complicated. it is further complemented by the uncertainty in his voice. ]

How?

[ The uncertainty is mirrored back at him by the face across the lab, Stephen's mouth twisted at the corner with caution and an apology waiting to happen. He's not sure exactly what it is that's happening - whether Tony understands. He must do, or he wouldn't have asked the question. But then there's the question itself.

There's a moment of hesitation, trying to find the answer.

He doesn't have it. Careful, like Tony's a prey animal he's trying not to spook: ]

I guess I woke up.

Woke up?

[ he looks as incredulous as he sounds. it isn't intentional, yet he can't really help it. ]

What is that supposed to mean? [ he folds his arms across his chest, his lips twisting up in a disbelieving smile. ] You're suddenly you now? The one from New Amsterdam? Is that what you're trying to tell me? After months of having not a single fucking clue who I am, you suddenly remember me because whatever the fuck is going on out there [ he jabs his finger towards the entrance to the workshop. ] has, what? miraculously blended the two of you together? Do you know how absolutely insane that sounds, Doctor?

[ given the amount of crazy shit that has happened in his life up to this point, the possibility is real and he knows it.

—but all the walls and defense mechanisms he have built up this past year alone from coping with another complete overhaul in his life after involuntarily falling off of the wagon has cumulated in an unsurprising display of anger and bewilderment and, less evidently, something very closely resembling relief. all wrapped up in outrage laced with ample amounts of sarcasm, of course. he wants nothing more for this possibility to be true, but acknowledging this want carries too much risks.

he needs more concrete proof that this isn't the universe playing a cruel joke on him because that possibility is real too. ]

Edited 2022-10-01 00:45 (UTC)

[ Doctor. It's a fair reaction. Sharp enough that it stings even though he knows he had no say in the rage he's earned, a sting that tugs down at the corner of his mouth - smile or frown? Both, maybe. That's Tony Stark alright. The Tony Stark who's known Stephen for the months Stephen hasn't known him back. Definitely him. No room for doubt.

And it does sound insane, no matter which way you spin it. In one corner there's the chance that he woke up one day with new powers, memories, and a computer in his head that wasn't there before. In the other, the chance that those things were there all along and have somehow just now reactivated. However you look at it, it doesn't seem likely. ]

Yeah.

[ He knows. And he raises his hand, holds it out loosely in front of himself, palm up, skin bare. ]

Try me.

[ There are other ways to make it true, but none less invasive. Things as they are he's not about to go reaching out with his power just yet, but this at least is a mutual discomfort. And the fastest way he's ever known to get down to the core of things. ]

[ he loses some of his steam at the proffered hand, his features now comically put off by the gesture and what it entails. tony spent the majority of his time in new amsterdam avoiding physical contact because of the emotional bond between the displaced. stephen has been the only person he had been willing to do it more than once with, but even then, it was more out of necessity than any actual desire. he genuinely doesn't want to experience the intrusiveness of the bond again.

unfortunately, it's the best way to verify that strange really is the one he knew on the other earth.

it's fine. he just needs to focus on not giving too much away. easy. he's had months to compartmentalize his messier emotions away, where they will never see the light of day again. they only need to test if it works, so it can be cut short.

seconds tick by before tony lets out a breath of air, tugs off his glove and places his hand on top of stephen's, making contact. ]

[ There.

Stephen, not quite so vehement in his avoidance of the bond, has made a tool of it more than once. The times he's least wanted anything to do with it have been times of high stress, he understands the hesitation. But he's been on the other side of that feeling too, used his own experience to soothe more than one tumult.

So that's how he spend the seconds it takes Tony to commit to the pursuit of the clearest proof. Thoughts smoothed flat, a few careful breaths levelling hummingbird nerves into still waters, calm and at ease and offering the blanketing weight of (hasty, imperfect, discomfort and cautious fond relief bleeding in at its edges) meditative peace. Neutral ground, or as close as he can offer to it under the circumstances, is the least he can do. He's been careful to choose a shirt that's light, thin enough for blue to glow softly through fabric. ]

Edited (sometimes you just have to edit in more unnecessary words) 2022-10-31 00:05 (UTC)

[ a tranquil calm laps at him in gentle waves, soothing over the tension and hesitance that comes from his begrudging relinquishment of control — because it is ultimately a relinquishment of control, no matter how slight. he doesn't enjoy the vulnerability of someone else not only influencing but sensing what he feels, so despite stephen's well-intended effort, a trace of displeasure and annoyance from him still taints the steadfast stream. it has less to do with strange than it does the bond itself.

something he should be familiar with coming from tony, given past experiences.

at the same time, the reciprocating current of relief, warmth and, perhaps, the barest hint of affection is undeniable. palpable.

matching his genuine delight is the slow grin spreading across his face as he glances between the blue hue emitting from their joined hands to eyes that no longer look at him as if he is nothing more than a stranger. it's really him. it's really stephen. the man who had somehow broken through his barriers and became someone dear to him.

his heart is thundering in his chest as something seems to crack within him. the reality of all those months of trying to keep himself together has caught up to him in a single moment. his hand slips from stephen's palm as he drops down to an abrupt crouch. he almost seems to curl in on himself, eyes shut and fingers raking through his hair. exhale, inhale, exhale. atta boy, stark. one arm still cradling his head, he holds up his left hand reassuringly. ] Shit. This is embarrassing. Give me a sec, okay? I'm just really happy you're you and it's a little overwhelming. [ man, he hasn't felt this uncool in a while. ]

[ A— laugh, half under his breath, bewildered more than anything. Never before has anyone put their head in their hands because they're happy to see him.

But it's not necessarily a good sign, is it? The tension's broken, it's gone the right way in spite of the gnarls in the knit of their brief bond and Tony's earlier tirade. That spreading grin on the other man's face had brought with it a light note of joy from Stephen's half of the bond, gladness made tangible in more than his own hitching smile - but this speaks to how marked his absence had been.

After a few held seconds, Stephen sinks into a crouch of his own to be on a level, voice light with humour wielded not at Tony's expense but his own. ]

Hey. This is the best reception I've had, maybe... ever. Take your time.

[ The first part's tongue in cheek, the second pitched to sound it too, but he's earnest. He'll just hang out down here while Tony takes whatever time he needs, watching him, ready to meet his eye with a wry smile or glance his gaze off as though Tony's somehow not the only thing in the room holding his focus if that give me a sec turns out to be an earnest need for privacy. ]

[ he won't take long, but he does appreciate the company, even if he's gonna swear him to secrecy later on.

never will they speak of this moment again to save him from his own mortification. he has a reputation to uphold. it's pretty important. ]

We're going to pretend this never happened. [ he finally looks up at him, lowering his arm as he moves to sit down on the ground instead. ] But I mean it. These past couple of months have felt like hell, Stephen. [ he reclines back against the counter behind him as he rests his forearm on top of an upright knee. ] I'm not even sure how I'd managed to keep going for this long after everything that happened to us.

[ there were... more than a couple of close calls. ]

I've just been focusing on work and nothing else. It helps when I have things to keep me busy. Sane. Especially since Iron Man is... kinda off the tables for now.

[ Everything that happened to us. Stephen doesn't have enough hands to count off all the things Tony might be talking about. Their time in a shared world had more than its share of happenings, and the collective we has been through some interesting experiences in this world. but it rings odd. Things have been bad, yes, but the last he remembers they were starting to look up. And here, has anything been dire enough to earn this? Maybe. It's a big world. If anything had happened to Tony here in that time, why would he have told a man from another universe who didn't know him at all?

Tony keeps going and Stephen sinks the rest of the way to the floor, cross-legged, not wanting to move far enough away even to sit with his back against the opposite counter. Something isn't sitting right. I'm not even sure how I'd managed to keep going for this long. ]

I've missed something.

[ It's the only conclusion he can draw. If Tony had been this bad before they left New Amsterdam he'd have known, wouldn't he? Things were starting to settle. A lot of eyes on them yes, Stephen's fault for stepping into the limelight, but the payoff was the Displaced supported by the city itself, free to glance over their shoulders a little less often.

Which means something's happened since. What? His statement is cautious, but it's also a question, pinch of his brow a thin veil for the onset of fresh concern. ]

[ he should have realized.

damien and kate were both at earlier points when they'd showed up here. even though stephen was a special case, maybe... not all of his memories have been unlocked yet. his response is a clear enough indicator that he doesn't know what tony's talking about. looking back at that period of time, stephen wasn't in great shape either after the aeries. he wouldn't be as — for the lack of a better word — okay as he appears now if he had access to them.

he doesn't try to conceal the dawning realization that's reflected in the ever so slight widening of his eyes. ]

Right. [ he lifts a hand to massage his temple. ] What do you remember, Stephen?

No.

[ No. That's an easy way to learn nothing new. It doesn't matter what he remembers - clearly he doesn't remember the important part. ]

What is it?

[ ......of course that wasn't going to fly.

he lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head slowly. ] Really not gonna give me that out, huh, Doc?

[ he splays out his hands with a shrug. ]

I fell off the wagon. In New Amsterdam. Or, well, New Amsterdam-adjacent. It's complicated. [ he keeps his voice light, unbothered. ] But I got it under control now. [ well, sort of. ]

[ Shit. Everything he can remember hadn't managed to knock him off the wagon, so whatever did must've been bad. But that can wait for as long as it has to - what Tony's telling him is worth the full weight of his concern.

He knows exactly how important his sobriety is to him. ]

Tony.

[ It's too late for the No Problem act. I'm not even sure how I'd managed to keep going for this long. But what else is there? What can he say, really, now that the problem has come and gone - weathered alone.

For a moment he just sits there, caught on the brink of speech after realising he doesn't know what should come out of his mouth next... then his face folds with regret, with the pain of that revelation on behalf of a friend who can't show it, shoulders dropping as he gives up on the notion of saying the right thing. There is no right thing. ]

Shit. I'm sorry.

[ normally, he wouldn't be as honest and upfront about it, but... if stephen is starting to regain his memories, then he is bound to learn of what happened to them so there's really not much point to concealing it. ]

Don't be. It's not like it's my first time. And hey, [ he offers a wry smile. ] at least I haven't made a complete fool out of myself or done anything too reckless. You might not be aware of this, but that's a milestone for me.

[ he has a sordid history of drinking and iron manning. ]

There's... also something else you should probably know.

[ He's lived in a world with a Tony Stark in the news every other week long enough for that milestone not to come as too much of a surprise to him. It's proving difficult to latch onto the severity of what's just been revealed to him when Tony keeps shrugging it off, like trying to find purchase on smooth glass.

So when something else is brought into the mix Stephen's head tilts, latching on like a dog with a poor reputation for finding anything finally picking up on a scent. ]

Okay.

[ he isn't ready to delve into the nitty gritty of his lifelong battle against alcoholism with anyone outside of his own mind, so it's just easier for him to sweep it under the rug. but at least stephen has been made aware of his current standing with sobriety. that's what matters. ]

We... may have gotten trapped in another dimension for about a month and spent centuries as lovers.

[ just gonna make it easier by sending over his aeries file via the implant because ofc he has an aeries file. dw it's all data and zero juice. ]

Tabloids had a field day with that one.

[ An initial snort at the ridiculousness of that sentence cuts itself off as the content catches up with him. Then there's a long silence from Stephen, just staring at Tony - or perhaps through him as that file comes in - processing the individual parts of what he was just told.

The furrow between his brows gradually deepens. His eyes flick briefly away as he tunes the file back out and finds himself still staring directly at Tony, looking instead at some indeterminate point of the counter base beside him as he stretches the quiet on another second more. Amazing, to have rendered Stephen Strange speechless twice in the space of five minutes.

Finally, because the silence is getting loud enough that even he can hear it— ]

... Huh.

[ There's about as much humor in it as he can reasonably dig up, given he's just realised this is probably what one Kai Parker was referencing a long time ago in a theatre not so very far away. He looks back up at Tony, expression tinged with the edges of something wry, hesitant to let it be fully anything until he's figured out where exactly that puts them now.

But it's typical, isn't it? That their reunion would be this stupid with complexity. And maybe that, if nothing else, is something they can laugh about. ]

Lucky you.

[ Badum tsh. ]

[ maybe he shouldn't have dumped all of this on stephen at once, but it's better for him to just rip off the bandaid now than later. no time like the present as they say. but as the silence drags on, the more he begins to reconsider his approach. talk about being the curator of his own awkward affairs.

still, he regretted not being able to have this conversation with stephen once; he isn't going to risk it again, especially given how tumultuous the multiverse has become. so, he sits and he waits patiently for him to read through the document, ignoring the steadily growing anxiety he feels inside.

a mild relief settles over him when he finally hears his response. it's succinct, a subtle joke; but it isn't bad. ]

Yeah. Lucky me. [ he's quiet for a moment. ] It... doesn't have to be complicated. [ even though it is. ] Only one of us remembers it, so we can sweep it under the rug. It isn't like either of us asked for it to happen. It just did.

[ He hasn't read the document, not beyond opening it to get a sense of what it was he'd been sent. The data will sit there until he's alone and can take it into its constituent pieces, figure out which to pretend he hasn't seen and which to slowly make sense of and ask after. The reality of the situation is this: the sentence Tony had opened with was enough to fracture Stephen's thoughts off down enough separate avenues that the whole thing boiled down to white noise. He'd been trying to reconcile it. It was impossible to reconcile.

Centuries. Christ. What else happens in centuries? There's a document waiting in the computer in his head that will no doubt tell him, but for now - ]

I don't— [ Centuries. Centuries don't disappear overnight. He still experiences phantom grief for the loss of a woman who never existed if he thinks too long about Zerzura, that dreamed-up world that made him briefly the father of three people he can't help but to love. That experience was only the tail end of a handful of decades. Centuries... ] I can... do whatever you need.

[ He can't tell if Tony's suggestion comes from a sense of obligation to prioritise Stephen's comfort or a hope to protect his own. Some things are easier buried. But not all buried things stay put. ]

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text, approx 3/4 days into the 4th wall event.

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